Sunday Brain Dump
It's Sunday. I have been packing, cleaning, cooking. Now I'm taking a break to write and I am also watching Roadrunner: A Film about Anthony Bourdain (it's on HBO Max). I didn't realize, because I am not an expert on Bourdain, that he had not traveled extensively until he wrote his first book and started filming his first TV show. He was 43 when he wrote that book.
This got me thinking about Georgia O'Keeffe, who didn't start painting seriously until she was 31, and even later when she got MORE serious after moving to New Mexico.
We have time. We surely don't have forever to realize these Earthly pursuits, but we have more than 20 or 30 years. I know that, intellectually. But when I really sit and think it over, it resonates deep in my soul.
My healing path didn't fully open up for me until about 7 years ago, and seriously opened up about 5 years ago. I didn't start my hairdressing career until I was 35. I just had my first two gallery shows this past year at 44. I love my life right now, and I feel that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing at exactly the right time.
For a lot of my earlier life I tortured myself with the question, "Am I doing God's will?" If only I had realized that His will is pretty simple. Live this precious life. Don't harm other people, don't harm yourself. Try to do some good while you're here. But simple lives are OK. Quiet lives are OK. And your passion and purpose may not become clear to you until later in life. And honestly, I think that is a good thing. Could you imagine how arrogant we'd be if we woke up at 20 years old having all the answers? Part of the joy of life (and some of the heartbreak, let's be honest) is figuring it out!
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I took a break to make dinner for my guys. I'm gonna miss cooking for Eli after he moves out in a few weeks. I'm really excited for him to get out and see the world, and I'm excited to see what he does and how he continues to grow as a person. It's going to be really weird with him not being around all the time. I'm sure I'll get used to the new paradigm, but I'm going to be sad for a little while, and I think that's valid.
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Now I'm typing this and watching The Big Chill. I am feeling really nostalgic. Even though I never felt a big connection to this movie, it released when I was only 5 years old. But I grew up listening music from the soundtrack, and I am curious to see if I can relate to it now as an adult. So far, not really. I don't have 'old college friends' to catch up with. And the portrait of marriage in this movie is weird. I'll give it a chance. I will say, the costumes and hair are 80's amazing. And the soundtrack is very good. And Jeff Goldblum's character has some pretty sweet one-liners. "That's what's great about the outdoors, the whole world is a toilet." I'm going to hop off of here and actually watch the rest of this movie. If there are any grand revelations I get from it, I will update you all. I know you're on the edge of your seats!
Bye.
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