Love.

The other night I was just about to fall asleep when I suddenly felt awash in this feeling; This deep, warm, safe feeling of being loved. Loved not for what I do, or what I accomplish, but simply loved because I exist. I knew without a doubt in that moment, that God loves me. And not only that, but God likes me. 

Jesus is my dearest friend and teacher. He is my example of how to live from a place of deep love, grace, and service. Holy Spirit is my greatest guide and protector. She helps me find wisdom and understanding. She helps me recognize my intuition and teaches me to really listen. This is God for me now. The trinity, the Holy family. 

Mind, body, spirit. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit (Shekinah, Sophia, or Wisdom. She has many names).

This hit me the other day, like a lightning bolt out of a clear and cloudless sky: Our mind, body, and spirit correlate to the three parts of God themself. I knew the fact of it, that every single thing in the physical is a reflection of the spiritual. I knew it. But when this revelation came through, this time it really landed in my soul. We are a reflection of each part of God, in every aspect of our being. 

The spark and the breath of God resides in us, and when we realize this and begin to live out lives in such a way as to allow this ultimate LOVE to flow from us and through us, THAT right there is the very sweetest life; this life's work. The joy, the beauty, the deepest love of every part of the Universe. It is reflected inside of us. We really are stardust in meatsuits. Divinity wrapped in fragile humanity. 

Now, back to the other night, when I was almost asleep, and lying there wrapped in this sweet and loving presence. I was on my right side when I felt a small 'tap-tap' on my left shoulder and a teeny tiny 'mew'. I turned over to my left side and there sat my youngest cat, August. 

*A little backstory: August was a feral rescue kitty. She lived the first two years of her life outside, in a city environment. When I brought her home, she got spooked and hid behind our kitchen cabinets for 8 days. She hid SO well that we thought she had run away. Well, she came out of hiding and I would work with her for hours and hours; I would sit on the kitchen floor near her hiding spot and read, just waiting for her to pop out, and eventually she trusted me. She went from living in her hiding place and coming out only to eat, potty, and get a tiny head pat every once in a while, to coming out most of the day. And then, sometimes, if I was lucky, she'd sit in my lap and if I was still and quiet she would stay for five minutes or so. And now, months later, she never goes into her hiding place, she hangs out on the couch with us when we watch movies, and her final accomplishment: every night she sleeps curled up next to me in the bed. Sometimes lying on my shoulder, sometimes curled up in a cute ball between my shoulder blades when I lie on my right side.

So, back to the little 'tap-tap': I turn over on my left side, and August gets as close to me as she ever has. I mean, she got right up to my cheek and shoulder, rolled herself into her little bundle of cuteness, and settled in, with her face right against my own, and that feeling of love that had begun a few minutes earlier, just expanded and covered me even more. I laid there thinking, damn, I am so happy to be alive right now. This immense gratitude washed over me. And it wasn't just because this sweet little black cat chose to hang out with me. It was everything. I felt EVERYTHING good and beautiful in my life at that moment. 

I have found that the most earth-shaking revelations seem to hit me in the simplest moments. Once I was eating some watermelon and sunlight was shining into the window and I was just carried away on waves of deep gratitude. Another time, I was having a terrible migraine attack and Steven (my husband) came and tucked me into bed, and when he spread the blanket over me and kissed my head, this huge feeling of love and connectedness with the Universe bubbled up inside me. So much gratitude. 

 The universe reminds us in these tiny, perfect moments how truly loved we are. How cared for, how looked after, so liked, so protected. In these moments I know that God delights in us. Smiles on us. Genuinely enjoys life with us. I am getting overwhelmed by emotion just writing that last part. 

I love this life. I feel honored to walk this path. 

Bye.