Tuesday TootsDay
This low spot, this fog, that I'm currently in, has made me realize something about healing. I mean I knew this, but I guess this current situation reminded me: healing works if you do the work.
What I mean is, healing is comprised of layers and layers of different techniques, beliefs, tools, rituals, etc. And there is not ONE magic bullet that solves every challenge that shows up in your life. But if you're consistent with your practice and learn to be kind to yourself (and others, let's be honest here) you're able to carry yourself through to the other side of whatever tough thing you're facing (when I say SELF, I'm also referring to your guides, deity, and spirit family because all is ONE, so you aren't truly alone, in a literal sense. It can feel that way at times, but you aren't).
Although my energy is low right now, and things feel really dense I have a deep sense of calm that this isn't THE END. The end of me, or the end of the world, or the end of anything really, except a cycle. A cycle of learning, growth, lessons, truth, a cycle of experience. My faith plays a big part in how I handle my depressive episodes. I have faith that it won't last forever, and I also rest in the fact that I have things to learn here, and things to DO. I have important work to be done, and I know that I will choose to live to see another day so that I can fulfill that.
Do I have it all together? NOPE. I am not completely free from my depression or my anxiety. But now I know that it isn't a personal shortcoming that I deal with those things. I also know that I can learn from both of those manifestations. I know that I can figure out where my imbalances are and I have touchstones I can use to bring myself back to center, to ground myself in reality, and do what I need to do in order to take care of myself. (I also need to make it clear that I am privileged in that I have a partner who is understanding and supportive when it comes to this sort of thing, so he doesn't add to my madness.) I also work part-time, so on days I am really fighting the heavy fog of depression, I can lie down for a while, or meditate for more than a half hour. This is why I do not, and never will, espouse myself as some sort of guru. I don't have all the answers. I know there are certain things that are very helpful (some, life-changing), but how each person comes to those realizations can be very different for each and every person. (But for the love of all things holy, please pleeeeease meditate, even just a little! I promise, it's so good for you!)
I will always share what works for me, but I share, also knowing that my way may not work for you the way it does for me, and that's OK! We are all on our very own path. But I digress...
What I'm trying to say through this whole garbled mess is this:
I am very, very depressed right now. But I am OK. And I will remain OK. I am taking care of myself. I am making my healing a priority, even in the midst of feeling this way. Even if I choose only one thing today, instead of the four or five things I usually do in practice, that's still a good choice. If I meditate for ten minutes and practice yoga for only five, I've done all right for where I'm at right now. So, I am slogging through, and I am learning from this, like I learn from everything else. And In a few days, or a week, or maybe even next month, the cloud will start to lift, and I will feel more like myself again. For a little while, or for a long time. And either way, all is well.
Bye.

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